"We look to Scotland for all our ideas of civilisation."

I began my trip to Scotland early in the morning with a 5 hour train from King's Cross to Edinburgh. Basically I pretended I was in Harry Potter. That's not weird right?

We were met by our guide Mike upon arrival:

Yes, he really did wear a kilt the whole time. No, most people in Scotland don't. He was strange. He certainly would have agreed with Voltaire that Scotland is the center of the world. Everything comes from Scotland, including but not limited to, modern medicine, most great literary figures, the telephone, and the English word for the toilet, "loo" - which apparently is bastardized French. This theme of "Scotland rocks" was funny at first, but it got a bit old.

No matter; we wandered Edinburgh, which I loved even though it poured most of the time we were there. After spending the night in the city, it was on to the Highlands! Speaking of Harry Potter, we passed the bridge they used in the films on the way up to Inverness. I didn't see any flying cars above though. Bummer.


One of the stops we made on the way was to see Hamish the Highland Cow. He was very cute, but appeared a bit bored with his visitors. I'm surprised he's not fatter than he is, given that half our tour fed him with vegetables from the shop nearby.


It wouldn't be a complete Highland trip without a visit to Loch Ness. No monster sightings. Probably because she was scared off by these fools below. Yes a few of the kids on our tour decided to swim in the Loch. It was barely 40 degrees. They changed on the bus. They are idiots.


The next day we saw a monument to William Wallace. This is a statue that stands at the base of the monument. Highlanders hate it because basically it's a repro of Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Not the most accurate of films apparently. Police in the area actually had to guard it for over a year after it was first unveiled. Kinda embarrassing I think.


We also saw the Hermitage and the Burnam Woods. Very pretty, but by far the best part was seeing the writer's gazebo some of the famous literary figures built in the forest. Apparently it was popular place to smoke opium. Given the trippy interior (which unfortunately didn't show up well in photos: lots of stained glass looking art), is understandable. Frankly, I spent the whole time thinking about The West Wing episode "The Birnam Woods" wherein Leo has his heart attack and no one discovers him for a day. A day! Ridiculous. I think I missed the point of this stop.


We also saw Scotland's smallest distillery. The whiskey was good, but the best part was the guide. She was a spunky old lady whose personality I can best sum up with her comment, "Our whiskey can last upon opening up to 10 months. Mine usually lasts 3 days." What a character.

All in all, a good time, though the weather stunk. Edinburgh was much prettier than Dublin, and I'd definitely love to spend more time there. I slowly make progress on my comprehensive coverage of the U.K. and its vicinity...

Next stop Paris!