Did you hear Miss Cleo's in jail?

I will be the first one to tell you that horoscopes are a load of hogwash. If they had any truth to them whatsoever, I would have found true love years ago and would have been promoted 14 times in a career I do not have. And yet every time I get one of my beloved magazines, I scan the zodiac for Taurus and read about things that won't happen. Or might. They're usually just vague enough that you can't tell. Well, if you're tired of reading the trite "you will have a good month if you love yourself, blah blah blah," check out biorhythms (needs Java). It's a whole new way to not predict anything whatsoever. Supposedly I'm having an unhealthy day tomorrow. Hmmm...maybe it does know something about my new dark kitkat obsession?